I don't know what you were thinking. Hell, I don't even want to know. It explains a lot. Why you never wanted to be home, why you always had to be up-north, why you couldn't ever be there for us when we needed you to be. And to tell you the truth it was never really about us. 15 YEARS!!! 15 fucking years of you telling us how to be and teaching us the supposed "right thing" to do.
You gave up on me when I was 12, so this isn't about me...

How fucking dare you do this to her...

How could you do this to "us" as a family....

And sit on it for 15 years....

And you stood there telling me how much of a fuck up I was, you let me feel like shit the entire time that I was in school because you didn't care. You couldn't even change for the better after the accident and still lie to us. You make Shelley and I feel worthless compared to your money and you cabin and your boats and your toys...You don't care about what happened to our lives, you never did take any interest in us until we got our report cards...

I hate me!!! I've always hated me, I have never been able to measure up to the icy heights of your expectations. Every time I tried to do something, anything to make you proud of me, you throw me back down. I will never be good enough for anything...

I have to look at you every day. I have to face the mirror that looks like you and talks like you because I am a female clone of you. I will never be good enough...I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't skinny enough... No man would ever want me... I'm a whore... I'm a drunk... I'm a druggie... That's what you think...

All I wanted from you was to be loved and you couldn't even do that. You were never there all the times I needed you and all the times when I needed someone to talk to...

To think I forgave you for all the times you cursed and swore at us...All the things that you said to us to purposely hurt us...

You, single handedly, let our family fall apart...

I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!!!


Whiskey