~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
There is a new guy on the block here at the Whiskey Blog...

Mr. Dickie Wiggles

woot! Look at him go!!! lol

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Shake it woo hoo!

I LOVE LIFE!! LOL Sorry I am a nut today

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Love yall


Whiskey the nut
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
This is for The Men

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Thank yall also for reading and leaving loving comments....
WISH IT WERE CANDY OR SOME BOOZE
oh and a Diamond ring would be nice too just from
one or two of yall ok
but comments and love do it for me too

love yall

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Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
This is For the Awesome Girls :)

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I just want to let all you girls know that read me... That I love your comments and that I am so glad that there are people out there that really give a damn ya know. You guys are the greatest.... I am glad that we all stumbled into eachother :)Love yall

this is for you all!

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~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
I am doing fairly well... I am reading this book and things are just coming from out of no where and opening up doors that I had thought were long ago shut and locked never to return to them. I think I have come to terms with a lot of things in my life and understand that I am not the only one hurting. I now realize that my mom and dad... No matter how hateful they were to me... Were probably mistreated as children too. Its just really sad that the cycle is finally going to be broken with me. I also realize that they are broken souls too. Its not excusing what they did to me and my sister and each other when I was younger.. Its just that I understand that they could possibly have been going through more than I knew at the time.

My father was never there for me or my sister... He was ALWAYS up north at the family cabin when he wasn't working... I always wondered why he felt the need to spend so much time there and away from us... Well when I was 21 and on my own my sister called me... She said that dad was arrested last night and that she wanted to see me about why...

Come to find out only... umm 15 years after the fact... My dad had been sleeping with my 15 year old (by marriage) cousin. So from the time that I was 5 till I was 21... My dad had been the biggest hypocrite... There is nothing that I ever did as a teenager that would ever measure to that.

After my sister and I got together and she told me why he was arrested just everything in the past 15 years perfectly made sense... He single handedly let our family fall apart... Every time that I needed him he was up there and having extra marital affairs with this bitch... Everytime that I needed him he was fucking her... I think that was the day where I knew that obviously there was more to the story of why my parents are the way they are and why they acted this what toward each other.

I guess my mom didn't know either till he was arrested because the bitch "Shannon" decided that after 15 years she needed help paying her way in life... I am sorry I know my dad didn't rape her cause she was with my dad for years after their first contact.

Anyway here is the post of what I had to say when I found out....

Friday, July 04, 2003

I don't know what you were thinking. Hell, I don't even want to know. It explains a lot. Why you never wanted to be home, why you always had to be up-north, why you couldn't ever be there for us when we needed you to be. And to tell you the truth it was never really about us. Was it?

15 YEARS!!!

15 fucking years of you telling us how to be and teaching us the supposed "right thing" to do. You gave up on me when I was 12, so this isn't about me...

How fucking dare you do this to her...?
How could you do this to "us" as a family...?

And sit on it for 15 years....And you stood there telling me how much of a fuck up I was, you let me feel like shit the entire time that I was in school, my whole life, because you didn't care. You couldn't even change for the better after the accident and still you lie to us.

You make Shelley and I feel worthless compared to your money and your cabin and your boats and your toys...You don't care about what happened to our lives, you never did take any interest in us until we got our report cards...

I hate me!!! I've always hated me, I have never been able to measure up to the icy heights of your expectations. Every time I tried to do something, anything to make you proud of me, you throw me back down. I will never be good enough for anything...

I have to look at you every day. I have to face the mirror that looks like you and talks like you because I am a female clone of you. I will never be good enough...I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't skinny enough... No man would ever want me... I'm a whore... I'm a drunk... I'm a druggie... That's what you think...

All I wanted from you was to be loved and you couldn't even do that. You were never there all the times I needed you and all the times when I needed someone to talk to...To think I forgave you for all the times you cursed and swore at us...All the things that you said to us to purposely hurt us...

You, single handedly, let our family fall apart...

I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!!!


Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
OK I just think that this article was great... Its about this family that put there children in a christian school to have them not only have a good education but to be able to have the knowledge of God and religion so that they could make their own judgement about their faith... Well the family consists of two Lesbians... So that surly makes their motives wrong for their children?

So these so called "Christians" kicked the children out of school purly because of their mothers sexual orientaion. Lets teach our children that biotry is the answer to all annoyances like two women who love their children enough to put them them in a good school... ugh.... sigh.... So are they saying that if I was a hooker... or I was a stripper... or even someone who enjoys the occasional black leather wearing Master... that our children would be tossed out of a school that we pay for? Just because of that? Hell No! because the government and President like the strippers and hookers cause how else would they get their Republican and Presidential rocks off?

Ya know anything to further the career of main stream christians that completely take the BIBLE out of context and bend the sacred words to make themselves sound right and fit their motives.

So... anyway here is the link to the article... caught it and was just interested of why people cannot just let people live...

I am not all for Lesbians and I certainly am not one... but I believe that the BIBLE says something completely different than what President Bush claims it does!

Article in Question

Hell just cause of my blog name I am sure that you would think or assume that I am a heavy drinker, a drunk, or I work in a bar, or I love Toby Keith... None of those inferences are true...

ok enough of my rant

Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
~::Captivating::~

My bestest friend Rochelle is truly my sister in the eyes of God and in my heart. There is no doubt that she was truly meant to be my best friend. I love her so and I am kinda jealous that she is getting married cause I want to keep her all to myself... cause so far she has been the best thing that I have ever found and been able to keep as a close and personal relationship.

Yesterday... I recieved my formal invitation to the wedding and she also sent a thank you note for her Wedding Shower along with this book... OMG! So far I have not been able to put it down... and when I do I cannot stOp thinking about it.

I made this a link to where I found the book the cheapest for reference.

Captivating
Unveiling the Mystery of a
Woman's Soul

by John and Stasi Eldredge

Ok I am the first to tell you that I am not a holy roller for Jesus but I believe... I am not a big fan of the whole organized church thing and most of the time I would not recommend something that only makes you feel worse as you read it telling you how somehow you don't measure up to what God wants and how if you follow these 15 million simple rules you will be created equal at some point.... Ok those kind of books are not my cup of tea. So I won't tell you to read those cause I won't try to push myself on anyone... with that said and hopefully understood...

This is THE ONLY one that I will recommend so far... I read this book and I tell you in my heart of hearts and as honest as I could ever be... These people are writing my life word for word... Why I am the way I am... What happened to me while I was a child. Everything!

In just the first 3 Chapters... I have a more clear... Crystal Clear... look into myself that I have never had before. They didn't write this book to make money... even though I know they will... Its truly because they know that we all as women have lost ourselves... We don't know who we are... And that we create and outward image to hide the pain of what we have gone through... They know that we go day to day just trying to survive with ourselves as we are... And there is still something missing no matter what we do.

Ok I am 24 and I am basically telling you, begging you, that it is so worth going to the store... running to the store, to just get this to try it out. If you cannot read it and do not like it after the first few chapters please by all means take it back... But for me and the women I know are hurting and quietly dieing inside... its worth the few pennies that this book will take to buy and if it gives you at least some sense of what I have already gotten from just reading the first 100 pages, then I am sure that there has to be something in it for you.

Please just check it out... Or sit at Borders with a warm cup of your favorite coffee and just read the first 100 or so pages... Just give it a chance... who knows I may be right....

I just have this feeling... of finally understanding myself and I know that I am on my way to becoming...
WHOLE

I love all my fellow women especially the ones, like me, who are still seeking out and searching for something real to hold onto about why we are and feel the way we do...
Empty...?

Love yall,


Whiskey

I'll spread my wings and learn how to fly....
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky...
Make a wish. Take a chance. Make A change....
Break Away!

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I'll spread my wings and learn how to fly....
Though its not easy to tell you goodbye...
Take a risk. Take a chance. Make A change....
Break Away!
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
5 things that TJ wanted me to do:

5 things to do before I die:
1. Become Independant
2. Own 1 brand new car
3. Get an Awesome Job that I Love
4. Meet a man that really loves me
5. Have children or adopt

5 things I can do:
1. Sing
2. Write Poetry
3. Make others feel good
4. Multitask like a pro
5. Make people laugh so hard they pee theys pants :)~

5 things I can't do:
1. Find damn silver 1 3/4 heel pretty shoes for the wedding
2. Have the balls to do what my heart desires
3. Keep my hair Red, turning gray at 24,its red damnit really
4. Forgive my dad for letting our family fall apart
5. Forgive my parents for taking in a stanger instead of
helping their daughter become a decent women!

5 things that attract me to a man:
1. Ability to Love Unconditionally
2. Sense of humor
3. Smart-NOT like open an encyclopedia to prove you wrong smart
4. Spontaneously Romantical :)~
5. Sense of self .. as in confident and out going

5 things I say most often:
1. FUCK ME!
2. Damn It!
3. Shit!
4. good lord!!!!
5. oooh... yes yes yes yes!

5 celebrity crushes:
1. Keith Urban
2. Toby Keith
3. Marilyn Manson
4. Ewan McGregor
5. and oh 50 CENT lol

I know what you are thinkin... OMG SHE IS A FREAK! LOL

5 people I'd like to do this list:
Heidi
Mija
Lily
Gina
ME ME ME
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
NATURAL HIGHS

Yall.... dur I am sooo wasted!!! lol

~ falling in love

~ laughing so hard you face hurts or you pee your pants.. lol

~ a hot shower

~ a candlelit bath

~ no lines at Walmart

~ a special glance

~ getting mail

~ taking a drive on a pretty road

~ warm blanket and a good book

~ warm fuzzy sweaters

~ Autumns changing colorful leaves

~ Cider Mills and their evil sugar covered donuts (yummy)

~ hearing your favorite song on the radio

~ lying in bed listening to the rain outside

~ hot towels right out of the dryer

~ finding the sweater you want ON sale for half price

~ oreo cookie blizzards

~ a long distance phone call

~ giggling

~ a good conversation

~ finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter

~ laughing at yourself and knowing people think you're nuts... lol
( I am accused of this often LOL )

~ midnight phone calls that last for hours

~ running through sprinklers

~ laughing for absolutely no reason at all

~ knowing that people are looking at you like you are a nut

~ having someone tell you that you are beautiful or sexy

~ knowing that person really means what they say when they say it

~ laughing at an inside joke

~ friends

~ accidentally hearing someone say something nice about you

~ waking up and realizing that you have a few hours left to sleep

~ your first kiss

~ making new friends or spending time with old ones

~ playing with a new kitten

~ having someone play with your hair

~ sweet dreams

~ hot chocolate

~ ummm chocolate PERIOD .... need I say more?

~ road trips with friends

~ swinging on swings

~ Running your feet through warm sand on your favorite beach

~ feeling the cool lake water on your skin right before you jump in

~ Christmastime feelings

~ Grandma and her genuine warmth

~ freshly brewed coffee at Grandma's at 5 in the morning

~ hell freshly brewed coffee anywhere

~ song lyrics printed on the inside of the new CD so you can sing along

~ going to a really good concert

~ making eye contact with a cute stranger

~ winning a really competitive game

~ the smell as you bake cookies or bread

~ having your friend send you something they baked

~ spending time with a close friend

~ seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends

~ holding hands with someone you care about

~ riding horses over and over again

~ watching the sunrise

~ taking in a sunset

~ getting one of the best and strongest hugs that make you feel safe

~ running into old friends

~ Spending time with children

~ knowing that someone out there is so in love with you

If there are any you can think of let me know cause I am sooo feelin them too :)

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Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
Isn't it sad that in today's day and age we have to basically screen and pick apart possible friends and possible lover's or mates... We cannot just meet someone and let fate take over... We simply cannot just fall in love blindly... Those that do usually end up in a early grave.

I met this guy a while ago... Talked with him wel...l for about a month... was from my home town area... pretty much was perfect on paper... Liked country music, drank coffee, and pretty much wanted a family and seemed to have the ideal mind set of what I was looking for. Well we even talked on the phone for quite a while. I really liked that he made time for my 3rd shifter butt... and would talk with me when he had the time during the day as well...

Ok, I am so not perfect so I am not looking for perfect.

So we finally meet... I had a whole day that I wanted to devote to doing things down in my home town area because it had been awhile since I had been around there and also a long time since I had a day off... So We met for breakfast early lunch and I was going to pay and he got upset about that... thats ok cause sometimes its nice to be taken out ya know... so I gave in. So no big deal. Went to his house so that we could take his car back and then went to pay a bill for him.

Then we went shopping and looking around and what not. You see I am a go with the flow type person. I really don't ever have a set thing that I wanna do because I am curtious to the other people that I am with so that if they want to do something they can say so and no big deal. As long as I don't have to give up my moral standing on whats happening... (remember this comment for later)

So we got gas and what not cause we drove around a bit and went to get coffee out in West Bloomfield and my favorite place. We sat and talked and I thought things we going well and that he and I were having a good time... and it was possibly looking like we were a good thing... So I lean in to try to give him the hint that its ok to kiss me but he ignores me! So we continue to talk and just have a good time and he is rambling on about something and I am ready to get going and then he kisses me and says that he had to MAKE me wait, and that it was a test basically. UGHHH I HATE ASSES LIKE THAT! I am not in fucking highschool anymore. So that irked me... can you tell?

So we went window shoppin again and then he made the suggestion that we should call my friends who lived close by and see if they wanted to get dinner with us... So I did and we went and picked them up and went to get Chinese... I LOVE CHINESE!

But the entire time all he did was talk to them... kinda ignoring me... and I couldn't get a word in edge wise.... And then he started in on talking about how guns are the answer to all his problems and that anyone who hurts him with get their heads blown off and how he comes up with unique ways to take people out... Or how he has all these connections... how he and his friends liked to kill some animals.. there is hunting and I am all down for that as long as the eat or donate the meat and what not... But this was pure madness....

And this was someone that I was considering spend a lot of time with not to mention having kids... So the jist of this story is that if people are going to be unstable... don't do it around me...

Oh and don't expect me to put out on the first date just because you fed me and so called wasted like 45 dollars on the day. I AM NOT A FUCKING WHORE.... and if I was... I would be way too expensive for your ass buddy!!! Besides I have morals and I WILL NOT FUCK YOU ON THE FIRST DATE. You are insane to think it will happen even 2 months after the first date...

Matter of fact you won't get any till you get your ass tested for everything under the sun... I have been through a scare with disease and I WILL NOT do it again...

Moral of the story ladies is trust no one till you go on the first date and after they hand you a piece of paper that states that they are completly clean of all nasty taint and disease! There is no better gift than knowing your partner is not gonna kill you in the end!

NO MAN IS WORTH THAT AGONY!! NO ONE IS.

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Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
Its the stones in the path of the water that give the mountain stream its music.

What a wonderful quote.

I know that every obstacle or "stone" that I step on or overcome in life... will make me stronger as a person. It will give me the story of greater achievement for I had nothing handed to me. I feel proud to say that everything that I have comes from me working my ass off and learning to be a decent human being. My parents taught me nothing and gave me nothing to be prepared for real life. They robbed me of my innocence and my childhood and for that I will never forgive them.

Now that I have let go of such things and have started my own life... I am stronger... better equiped to take on horrible events and such.

I am precious and my friends.. whom are my real family... are quite precious as well. I hold them more dear than anything or anyone in my life. For them... I am thankful and ever greatfully fulfilled... All new found friends are included..

Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
What would you do if you had nothing to lose and had a win/win opportunity to get ahead in life... What if you could have everything handed to you after so many years of heart ache and toil... Working so hard to get ahead but always falling just an inch short of what you needed. If you had the chance to change most of the shitty things that happened to you but retained the memory and the emotional heart renching that it caused... would you do it?

If you had a chance to rise from nothing and become a whole person just by retreat... would you do it? Would you jump into something that would set precendence over the rest of your life?

I need some guidence on this one yall!!!


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Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
"Life should not be measured by the number of breaths we take, but the number of moments that take our breath away"

"Do what you want and say what you feel because those who
matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."
(Dr. Seuss)



Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
If you like to be silly with your love sometimes, here's a fun thing to do:

Walk up to them with a big ol' smile on your face, and say, "pick a number between one and ten"

...don't explain why, just tell them to do it.

When they make a guess at it, lean in close and whisper

"Nope, you lose. Take off your clothes." :-) ~


Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
Motorcycle Driveby

Summer time and the wind is blowing outside in lower Chelsea.
And I don't know what I'm doing in this city,
The sun is always in my eyes,
It crashes through the windows,
And I'm sleeping on the couch,
When I came to visit you,
That's when I knew,
That I could never have you,
I knew that before you did,
Still I'm the one who's stupid,

And there's this burning,
Like there's always been,
I've never been so alone,
And I've never been so alive.

Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by,
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes,
And you don't mind,
you smile,
And say the world doesn't fit with you.
I don't believe you,
You're so serene.
Careening through the universe,
Your axis on a tilt,
You're guiltless and free,
I hope you take a piece of me with you,

And there's things I would like to do that you don't believe in,
I would like to build something,
But you'll never see it happen,

And there's this burning,
Like there's always been,
I've never been so alone,
And I've,I've never been so alive,

And there's this burning,
There is this burning ay ay ay.

Where's the soul. I want to know,
New York City is evil.
The surface is everything, but I could never do that,
Someone would see through that.
And this is the last time,
We'll be friends again.
I'll get over you, you'll wonder, who I am.

And there's this burning, Just like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, alone, alive, alive, I've never been so alive, so alive

I go home to the coast. It starts to rain, I paddle out on the water alone,
Taste the salt and taste the pain.
I'm not thinking of you again,
Summer dies and swells rise,
The sun goes down in my eyes,
See this rolling wave,
Darkly coming to take me home,
And I never been so alone,
And I've never been so alive
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
i found these facts in someone's diary.. its a real eye-opener:

Thinking about suicide? Think about this!

You've decided to do it. Life is impossible. Suicide is your way out.

Fine--but before you kill yourself consider these facts:

Suicide is not usually successful.

You think you know a guaranteed way?

Ask the 25-year-old who tried to electrocute himself. He lived. But, both his arms are gone.

What about jumping?

Ask John. He used to be intelligent , with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leapt from a building. Now, he's brain- damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he KNOWS he used to be normal.

What about pills?

Ask the 12-year-old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.

What about a gun?

Ask the 24-year-old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide.

You might too.

But...

Who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse that job- -but SOMEONE has to do it. Who will have to cut you down from where you hung yourself or identify your bloated body after you've drowned?

Your father?

Your mother?

Your wife?

Your son?

The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help. Those who loved you will NEVER completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.

Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. Look closely at the 4 year old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight, and he may do it ten years from now.

You DO have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call your minister or priest. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police.

They will tell you that there's hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.

You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it?

Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later.

And we'll work with whatever you have left.
And besides Suicide is too easy of a way out... Whatever, who ever, is making you feel this way is gonna win even if you attempt it. I'd rather make my enemies suffer and deal with me, instead of letting them win!!!

IF YOU’RE READING THIS, PLEASE STEAL IT AND PUT IT IN YOUR JOURNAL TOO


Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
Well there are going to be some changes around here. I found someone really cool to try to make a cool look for my blog that isn't sooo typical blogger. Her blog is so gorgeous and everyone simply must look at it. her work is simply GORGEOUS. So I am jealous of her wondrous talent. I have Paint shop pro but have not as of yet figured the darn thing out. So hopefully pretty soon you will see something prettier than this light house thingy. :)

http://www.his-mija.sirknightsrealm.com/


Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
I quite fondly remember as a younger person driving with my father (way before the accident) either on the way up north to our cabin in Hubbard Lake or on the way to my grandparents house in Ocqueoc. We would leave super early in the morning to avoid the rush of the day traffic from Farmington Hills. My dad would always pack his green and silver thermos that contained freshly brewed coffee for the trip. We would take turns drinking from the silver top that doubled as a cup. ALWAYS black with just enough sugar to be a touch sweet but not like syrup. I would pour because he was driving and he would always smile and tell me not to spill it.

I remember this as I sit here at work drinking a cup of coffee. What brought the sudden flood of memory back to my conciousness I don't know. Maybe it is because it was at those times where I actually felt like I fit into my fathers eye of what I was supposed to be. That maybe there was some ideal moments when I could be considered more than the bothersome child that he so made me out to be.

There weren't many times where my father was tender or kind, nurturing, but at those little moments I reveled in the attention because it was just me and him.

When at my grandparents house for the summers... I would often cry that I wanted my daddy when I was in trouble. Why? I truly don't know. I think I was still under the spell, as every child at my age is, that my parents couldn't do anything wrong. Possible it was because I longed for him to be like most other good fathers that I knew and actually take interest in his children. Not just me but also Shelley. Maybe wanting him to accept me and truly love me as is.

I was Never "Daddy's Girl". I Always wanted to be and it never squelched my desire to try to be so.

Alas, everytime that I did do something that was to his liking he would say... "Well there is always room for improvement." So maybe thats why in school as he spent more and more time away with buddies and up north hunting... I stopped trying so hard in my studies. It seemed that the only time when he had anything to say or anytime that he would care was when the reportcards came in.

AND then there was the accident and things were never the same.

I also remember the only time where my dad and I went fishing together. We were going out with one of his buddies from work while we were up north at the cabin. We got up early and went to Oscoda where my dads boat and his buddies were stored and in the water. That morning we were gonna go on his buddy Steve's boat on to the " big lake" Lake Huron.

I was so completly thrilled that I was going. Thought that finally he is maybe taking interest in being with me and doing stuff with ME!

So we stopped in town to grab something for breakfast... and some coffee for dad of course. Mind you I am a kid and donuts anytime sound great. Hell, they still do. But the kicker of it was that my dad let me get ORANGE JUICE. So needless to say the entire trip I was useless cause I puked the entire time. So in other words I ruined my dads time on the lake and wasted the time of Steve and my dad by them having to clean the boat up. Although when we were on the lake after I puked the first time... they started catching really BIG fish.

But those little moments, where I could say that without a doubt maybe my dad loved me just a little bit, is all I have now. Just little memories that pop in and out of my head, haunting me.

I treasure them.

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Whiskey
~ Whiskey Leigh Embers ~
Have you ever felt that the only reason why some people keep you around as a friend is either for your money or the tasks and things that you do for them?

With that asked... I have a few friends that all of a sudden stopped talking to me???? Maybe its because my car no longer runs... so I cannot run them all over town? Maybe its the fact that most of my money now is tied up in doing things to get ahead in life rather than pay for gas and other peoples meals? Maybe its because my life is getting better and they are naturally being weeded out just like Deb and Charissa? Jill hasn't talked to me in 9 days now. I donno if she is dead... or just not talking to me.

You know real friends don't just stop talking to you. If there is a problem they come to you and say look... this is whats going on. How fucking immature it seems to just ignore someone in your life. Are they doing it because they think they are teaching you a lesson? All I got to say is .... YOU HAVE TO BE A FRIEND TO HAVE FRIENDS....

IF YOU ARE A USER DO NOT TALK TO ME


Whiskey