NATURAL HIGHS

Yall.... dur I am sooo wasted!!! lol

~ falling in love

~ laughing so hard you face hurts or you pee your pants.. lol

~ a hot shower

~ a candlelit bath

~ no lines at Walmart

~ a special glance

~ getting mail

~ taking a drive on a pretty road

~ warm blanket and a good book

~ warm fuzzy sweaters

~ Autumns changing colorful leaves

~ Cider Mills and their evil sugar covered donuts (yummy)

~ hearing your favorite song on the radio

~ lying in bed listening to the rain outside

~ hot towels right out of the dryer

~ finding the sweater you want ON sale for half price

~ oreo cookie blizzards

~ a long distance phone call

~ giggling

~ a good conversation

~ finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter

~ laughing at yourself and knowing people think you're nuts... lol
( I am accused of this often LOL )

~ midnight phone calls that last for hours

~ running through sprinklers

~ laughing for absolutely no reason at all

~ knowing that people are looking at you like you are a nut

~ having someone tell you that you are beautiful or sexy

~ knowing that person really means what they say when they say it

~ laughing at an inside joke

~ friends

~ accidentally hearing someone say something nice about you

~ waking up and realizing that you have a few hours left to sleep

~ your first kiss

~ making new friends or spending time with old ones

~ playing with a new kitten

~ having someone play with your hair

~ sweet dreams

~ hot chocolate

~ ummm chocolate PERIOD .... need I say more?

~ road trips with friends

~ swinging on swings

~ Running your feet through warm sand on your favorite beach

~ feeling the cool lake water on your skin right before you jump in

~ Christmastime feelings

~ Grandma and her genuine warmth

~ freshly brewed coffee at Grandma's at 5 in the morning

~ hell freshly brewed coffee anywhere

~ song lyrics printed on the inside of the new CD so you can sing along

~ going to a really good concert

~ making eye contact with a cute stranger

~ winning a really competitive game

~ the smell as you bake cookies or bread

~ having your friend send you something they baked

~ spending time with a close friend

~ seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends

~ holding hands with someone you care about

~ riding horses over and over again

~ watching the sunrise

~ taking in a sunset

~ getting one of the best and strongest hugs that make you feel safe

~ running into old friends

~ Spending time with children

~ knowing that someone out there is so in love with you

If there are any you can think of let me know cause I am sooo feelin them too :)

~ Whiskey ~

ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet, current car): Sam Caprice

GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite kind of shoe): Chunky Monkey Stiletto

HIPPY NAME: (what you ate for breakfast, favorite tree): Cake Maple

SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Leigh Lynn Farmington

STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): Wil Sh

SUPERHERO NAME: (favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Southern Comfort

NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers/grandmothers): Vernon Donna
Eric Lilly

STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Angel Candy Cane

TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 4th grade teacher’s last name, a city that starts with the same letter): Dudek Detroit

SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Fall Trillium

CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Strawberry Purple Panties




~Whiskey~

It has been 3 months now without you... I am still very much alone and without words to describe how I am feeling. All I know is that all of this could have been prevented. I guess maybe I blame myself for not being there and being more vigilant but it is supposed to be you and my parents watching over me instead of me watching over you all. But you did that most of my life...

I still can not believe that you are gone. I had never seen the house that they bought for you to bring you to town instead of being out in the middle of nowhere. To you and I am sure that it was home so far away from the city and the hustle and bustle of things... I think I may end up staying there for a while to write and possibly get my head together. I just wish that you would have still been there cause I need you more than I ever have in my life...

Everything is so messed up right now. I do not know where to turn, and really do not have anyone to talk to... So that is why I am talking to you. I want to do so many things with my life. I have no idea how to start... I want to go back to school but just getting the money together to pay the difference out of pocket is scary... In retrospect I guess I need to go to a cheaper college. I am almost becoming a recluse. I want to go out and play with other people but I don't know how to react anymore... I am scared... I feel like everyone is judging me. I have never been like this...

My old job that I left really messed me up. I did quality work and did a great job but my boss was always on me. She would yell and scream and make me feel like I was an idiot. I did well at my previous job too but I never had anyone talk to me the way she did. I don't think that the major split with Brian helped me either.

I spent four years of my life with him Gram, and I have nothing to show from it except for a half broken heart, and that I no longer trust anyone... Including myself.

I am so glad that I was able to see you this last summer. I had been wanting to get up to see the new house and see you and spend some real time again like I used to in the summers... There are alot of regrets that I have now... I am sure you already know all of them. The job I had made me so afraid to leave it. I wanted so badly just come and be. To perhaps get some of the magic that was once there when we visited when I was a kid. I have so many unanswered questions that I was never and will never be able to get the answers to.

I pray for the strength to understand others especially Shelley and how she is taking your death hard... I know that all of us have a void now where there once was light... but my sister never spent the time that I did with you... Everytime that I came to stay she refused to stay too. I know she misses you differently than I but I guess I am selfish when it came to memories of you.

I guess I also don't understand why people needed to hide things all over your house while we were grieving for you during the funeral. I mean for me... I loved you so well while you were here that I don't need anything from you... I guess I just don't understand why dividing material posessions to different people after you died brings closure. Maybe it was taking a little piece of you with them but if they were there and spent time with you they wouldn't have needed a towel or a bowl or an Aunt Jamima Doll that they hid in your bathroom to make sure that they got exactly what they wanted... I guess its not me... I wasn't greedy. I just wanted more time with you. That's all I wanted.

As I sat there at the funeral home, being strong for Shelley and everyone else too, I realised that maybe it was really your time to go... I mean things didn't have to be as gruesome for you in the last moments of your life... The details I try to forget. You lived all the adventures that I only could wish I could. Your whole family adored you... I can only wish to be half as admired and half of who you were.

What was most painful for me was to watch my dad... while he was in the middle of the service. He never took his eyes off of you Gram. It was like he was trying to memorize what you looked like so that he wouldn't forget. But I understood that you no longer were there in your body. I know that your body was the shell of your life here on earth. I also know that you were with grandpa and watching us. You saw everything and I know that. It was a simple and very beautiful service and I hoped that you liked the songs that we picked out for you. I worry for him the most. He and Uncle were there for you the most out of all your children... Poor Uncle was the one who had to find you. Dad and Uncle won't be the same without you.

I remember you... as you were while you were visiting with me and Don up at Mom and Dad's cabin. Aurora was there. Mom, Dad and I are still talking on a regular basis... It feels really weird that they aren't in Michigan during the winters anymore. So I now feel alone and since Shelley and I don't talk because of her life with Bob and all that it entails... I feel more and more locked in and almost suffocated.

I guess I am talking to you because you have always been there for me when I needed advice. You even told me that my parents would come around someday... You were right... But in waiting those seven years for them to come around... I missed out on time with you and the rest of the family... I mourn for that time now...

I love you,



~Whiskey~

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."

I keep running into these situations and jobs where the boss is on a power trip. When you first hire into a job, and I don't care what job it is, there is a period where they train you and you get oriented to how they run their business.

At this time I am working with one of the people that Don works for as a maintainance person and I am helping her get her office and reception together. She has this issue with trusting people and plans on being like Oprah.... Well of I can see that and understand about the trust thing... But I am not even able to go to the office and set up... instead I have been working out of my office in my home trying to get her things going. Its been a month now and I still haven't gotten paid for the administrative work... phone calls from my house and personal cell in order to set up maintainance calls for Don... not to mention the word processing and desktop publishing she has had me do. I am sick of using my ink, my printer, my computer, my phone, my internet serivce, My gas, My car.... to get all of this shit done...

I got a phone call from her yesterday and she was perturbed that I wasn't saying "Thank you" enough while on the phone with her. She went on a tirade about how she wants her office people to be professional and talk a certain way... Well lady First off I am not in your office... I am working from my home. Second, I am more than professional when talking to clients and possible customers.

It all started when she asked me to get quotes for parking signs and such from the local sign stores. I called 5 to get a good range of prices to compare and one I had written the number somewhere but it wasn't on hand when she called to ask. She went into the first tirade about she expects her office people to be ready with the info that she needs....

What part of "I AM NOT WORKING IN YOUR OFFICE" Does she not get...
I don't have to do this on my time... I don't even have to work for her...

So I have issues typing her letters and calling her people when I haven't been paid yet... I even made better letterhead for her company and it looks more professional than what she had...

I cannot work for someone that makes me feel less than a person. She mentioned to me that there are several other people that are standing in line that want the job more than me... Well to tell you the truth... I am not handing all my work over to her and then have her fuck me over.... I am not setting up her office paperwork wise and then not have a job after... Thats stupid and I refuse to have anyone make me feel as if I am not good enough for the job yet... I am the only one that is doing the job for her...

So if I give up... I feel that I am stronger. I worked the last 2 and a half years of my life that made me feel less than dirt and I refuse to lose myself and to feel that way again.

I am not going to give my goodies away with out the ring... or better yet he he... you ain't getting the milk and cheese without buying the cow first.

PEACE...

"... People in this civilization are starving in the middle of plenty. This is a civilization that is going down, not because it hasn't got the knowledge that would save it, but because nobody will use the knowledge."

Idries Shah, 1975



It's funny... I thought my life would end when I lost my job for obvious reasons. I was no longer able to be Sherry... I was sooo scared to leave there without knowing what the future held for me. I let Ellen Rudedick scare me into believeing that I didn't matter and that I was worthless....

Even though Her and the company that I worked for for over 2 years denied me my Unemployment Benefits... I am not really poor... No we don't have gads of money... But the Possibilities and better Opportunities of knowing who Sherry/Whiskey is again are so Delicious that still imagining them excite me and chill me.

Possibilities and Opportunities so much better than ROSE HILL CENTER... OR Ellen's Rose Hill Center ever had a chance at offering me.

I don't regret working and meeting the people I have. I miss quite a few of them... but that job was way too much BULLSHIT!! I feel sorry for those who are still there... toiling their lives away for barely any pay and shitty benefits, too scared to say when someone was mistreated or step up when something really wasn't right. I could not work there any longer being in constant fear that Ellen or one of her cronies like Lindia or Jesse would talk to one of the guys and they make something up to report back To the Queen Bitch herself... Dealing with Ellen and her fucking bitch ass attitude was never ever worth it. Queen Bee will get hers... She will try to Fuck over the wrong person and she will get hers... I will just have to watch... Or one of the residents will die from one of her mistakes... Or her classic MED ERROR cover ups...

Either way she will deserve it!!

If Love Alone

If love alone could mend your heart of all the hurt inside-

If love alone could fill it with hope which somehow in time has died-

If love alone could rid your mind of the dark and evil things-

And fill it instead with wonderful thoughts of love and magical things-

If love alone could give you the will to live and want to greet each day-

If love alone could do these things we’d have no need to pray-
For both of us love you very much, more than these words can say-

And our special gift to you this year on this quiet Christmas day-

Is all the love we have inside, nothing to see or touch or smell-

But if love alone can do all things, use our love to make you well.

All our love this Christmas and hope for Christmases to come,

Love, Mom and Dad.

Know Who You Are by Jenna Kandyce Linch

This world can be such a cold place to live
Sometimes it seems the negative outweighs the positive.
Pressure is put on us to be a certain way
If we don't measure up to society's expectations, we pay.

Acceptance isn't something easy to come by
Especially when we're expected to live a lie.
Flaws and imperfections they wait to point out
Never good enough in us they create self doubt.

We're pulled in different directions as this way and that we go
Society's rules people continue to blindly follow.
A distorted image of themselves in the mirror they view
They wouldn't see that if how beautiful they are they knew.

Yet many self esteems are torn apart
Because overlooked is the beauty of one's heart.
True identities are left unrevealed due to fear
Traumatic events that people have endured no one wants to hear.

In their own comfort zones they stay
Having nothing to do with anyone who has the courage to find their own way.
They think we are rebels and outcasts for being different
But into the darkness of ignorance we refuse to be sent.

To the world's ways we don't conform
We choose to keep our hearts open and warm.
Their views are not always right
Just to be heard we have to fight.

Most of the time alone we stand
Since it's hard to find someone to lend us a hand.
Towards us people can act so fake
In their minds, they're keeping count of our every mistake.

It isn't for them that we are living
Making the most of our lives, our best we are giving.
They haven't traveled the path our shoes have walked on
Not understanding what we suffered, they are quick to be gone.

The real battle comes when on the truth we shed light
There are those who don't want to see us take flight.
They attempt to keep us trapped in silence
Hoping word doesn't get out about abuse and violence.

Yet after years of being quiet, we owe it to ourselves to speak out
The only way myths are dispelled is if we tell what our stories are about.
Who we are we should not sacrifice
"To thine own self be true" is great advice.

Each of us has real beauty that shines through
It can be seen in how we act and the things we do.
That's something we should never change or trade in
Even if others find us negative, somewhere every story has to begin.

Within every heart lies a story waiting to be told
People need hope on which they can hold.
When it comes to important matters silence is not golden
Society needs to know we aren't the same people we were back then.

For too long the truth has been concealed
It's time that the other part of our lives be revealed.
Who cares what others think or say when we take this chance
By speaking out, we have an opportunity in our lives to advance.

The world cannot steal way our honor and pride
Stepping up, we won't sit on the side.
With us change has to start
In making a difference in this world we can play a part.

Let's not allow them to destroy the values we hold dear
We've become warriors who have conquered our fear.
No matter what they say we'll continue to go far
Standing up for what we believe, we know who we are.