Dear Gram,
Its amazing what happens to the best of us as we try to make things right for ourselves in life. My best intentions always get turned around on me... and I get taken advantage of. I have been taught to give and to help people because in the end... you never know when you in turn will need the help back.
However, I have given, sacrificed, and helped so many people... only to be stabbed in the back and to be made to feel, crazy, childish, and never quite good enough.
I try to live my life with grace and dignity. It seems like every time I get calm again, something triggers another anxiety attack. I had to take the first pill in 4 months tonight to calm down.
I am livid and so vividly angry. Don and I have been fighting almost non stop for the past few weeks. I have spent my 401(k) checks to help us survive... and I have nothing to show for them... Granted it was only $700 but still that is alot of my hard earned money that was put away for what I needed.
Don and I went out recently with a few new found friends and I am not likeing the female of the couple... It just seems that everything she says is a lie... Its so over the top that she is trying to make herself seem bigger and better just because. I abhor fake people. There is no reason to feel like you need to impress me... just be yourself.
Well as soon as this certain person called a week ago out of the bkue for Don to take her to the pharmacy to get scripts filled for her kids... it kind of threw up a red flag. We really haven't known this couple for very long and it was inappropriate to call someone a half hour before the pharmacy closes. So he told her that we were getting ready for bed and what not.
After going out again this past Friday... She calls again tonight and asks if Don can help her and her husband move shit out of their storage facility because they didn't pay for another month and at the last minute needed to move shit out... Mind you it is 9pm when they call and asked... it was her that asked and said to Don, "Well I know its late and Sherry will be mad...but" ok if you know that its inappropriate and you know I am going to be mad about last minute shit then why call at all... unless you are up to something.
Don's Eyes light up and immediately he jumps up and puts his coat on...
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING PUT ON THE BACK BURNER FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S PLANS AND DREAMS... He spent all day fixing his son's car... which I have come to accept with a grain of salt. But I just needed him to be home with me and spend some time out of today with me...
Does this make me Selfish??? Does it make me the bad person to be suspicious concerning the past and the company he has kept in the past...
I have no idea where we stand and I am faultering on my ground... I have nothing, my job, my vehicles are all gone and need worked on but they will never be fixed because he will do me just like he has done Vanessa...
What am I going to do Gram??
Its amazing what happens to the best of us as we try to make things right for ourselves in life. My best intentions always get turned around on me... and I get taken advantage of. I have been taught to give and to help people because in the end... you never know when you in turn will need the help back.
However, I have given, sacrificed, and helped so many people... only to be stabbed in the back and to be made to feel, crazy, childish, and never quite good enough.
I try to live my life with grace and dignity. It seems like every time I get calm again, something triggers another anxiety attack. I had to take the first pill in 4 months tonight to calm down.
I am livid and so vividly angry. Don and I have been fighting almost non stop for the past few weeks. I have spent my 401(k) checks to help us survive... and I have nothing to show for them... Granted it was only $700 but still that is alot of my hard earned money that was put away for what I needed.
Don and I went out recently with a few new found friends and I am not likeing the female of the couple... It just seems that everything she says is a lie... Its so over the top that she is trying to make herself seem bigger and better just because. I abhor fake people. There is no reason to feel like you need to impress me... just be yourself.
Well as soon as this certain person called a week ago out of the bkue for Don to take her to the pharmacy to get scripts filled for her kids... it kind of threw up a red flag. We really haven't known this couple for very long and it was inappropriate to call someone a half hour before the pharmacy closes. So he told her that we were getting ready for bed and what not.
After going out again this past Friday... She calls again tonight and asks if Don can help her and her husband move shit out of their storage facility because they didn't pay for another month and at the last minute needed to move shit out... Mind you it is 9pm when they call and asked... it was her that asked and said to Don, "Well I know its late and Sherry will be mad...but" ok if you know that its inappropriate and you know I am going to be mad about last minute shit then why call at all... unless you are up to something.
Don's Eyes light up and immediately he jumps up and puts his coat on...
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING PUT ON THE BACK BURNER FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S PLANS AND DREAMS... He spent all day fixing his son's car... which I have come to accept with a grain of salt. But I just needed him to be home with me and spend some time out of today with me...
Does this make me Selfish??? Does it make me the bad person to be suspicious concerning the past and the company he has kept in the past...
I have no idea where we stand and I am faultering on my ground... I have nothing, my job, my vehicles are all gone and need worked on but they will never be fixed because he will do me just like he has done Vanessa...
What am I going to do Gram??
