I know you come here. For what? Who knows. Maybe you feel guilty, maybe you even feel that you are entitled to some part of my life or information that I am unhappy or something. Who knows what you think, who knows what your intentions are. Who the fuck really cares.
I am not unhappy. I am not miserable. I am going out and having the time of my life simply because I can. I have friends who are not vindictive and people who really care for me. I take refuge and sanctuary in many of my friendships. Whether they be male or female is not your concern. Nor should you be able to make any judgment on my character simply because I hang out with men. If I have dinner, watch a movie, or even have sex with them is not something that you will ever be allowed to have an opinion on. I thank you for your little comment on my MYSPACE page.
If you were a real man... you would have left a real comment. But then again intelligence is not measured by penis size or your sex drive. If it were, you would be lacking in many areas.
I loved you... Parts of me even still love you. But the thing that hurts me the most is the fact that you think... that I would do something to you, your family, your stupid car. You spent 4 years with me and you stayed, lived, slept, fucked, possibly loved a crazy, psychotic killer, idiot? I am not stupid. But you are... if you think that I would want to hurt you in any way.
Am I happy that you are miserable... sometimes it tickles my fancy I have to admit, but I certainly don't wish you any harm. I do wish you the same level of self doubt, and the fact that I no longer trust people, these gifts you have bestowed unto me. You did not have to handle the end of "US" as you did. You still don't have to be an asshole. But you choose to be. You choose your unhappiness and really I believe Karma is not through with you yet. The only thing that I am even mad at is the fact that I wasted my life with you. I wasted 4 years of being myself and finding someone who wouldn't do this bullshit to me. Who wouldn't make me feel that I had to submit to several acts of abuse just to make you happy. Your pleasure for my pain... I could have already been with someone who truly may have loved me.
You know nothing about me. You never wanted to. You were too busy with your doom and gloom and painting a picture of me to you family that you NEVER took the time. You say that I am a liar and that all I did was take from you. I find that funny. You said that I took all the things that you left in my apartment and that I TOOK the rings that we spent 3 days trying to find together, just so that I could hock them. I NEVER asked for any of that. You gave it to me. And who was the one who continues to tell me things like... "I will take care of it"... or even the day when you left to be with her... "I love you"
Why the hell would I give up something that you bought me that meant more than all the money in the world? Those rings that I wore on my hand meant more to me because they were a reminder of the fact that maybe there was a time or one moment that you truly loved me. I figured, why would you spend that much money on something unless you really wanted to do it? Why would you promise to marry me... if you KNEW! you did not love me. I believed in you, your family, what they said to me. That is what those rings mean to me. So NO, I won't and have not taken them to a pawn shop. I will eventually trade up and get something that means something for myself. So while you are slinging names around and talking shit about me to perfect strangers... why don't you look in the mirror....
Thats the difference between you and I. I am not all about the money. I am not materialistic... I didn't have to have anything to make me feel loved. I let you have what you wanted when you wanted...
Look at all the things that you have... Purely because you lead me on for 4 years making me believe that you were happy and in love with me... but yet here I am happier than I think I ever truly was with you.
You are more than welcome to continue to visit this site or any of my others. But All I ask of you is that you at least say something instead of lurking around like a coward, tryin to find something to make yourself smell more like roses than your rotting carcass of a heart already does.
I love you but I am over you. I will eventually forgive you but it will take a lot. But then again... you aren't worried about forgivness are you?
I am not unhappy. I am not miserable. I am going out and having the time of my life simply because I can. I have friends who are not vindictive and people who really care for me. I take refuge and sanctuary in many of my friendships. Whether they be male or female is not your concern. Nor should you be able to make any judgment on my character simply because I hang out with men. If I have dinner, watch a movie, or even have sex with them is not something that you will ever be allowed to have an opinion on. I thank you for your little comment on my MYSPACE page.
If you were a real man... you would have left a real comment. But then again intelligence is not measured by penis size or your sex drive. If it were, you would be lacking in many areas.
I loved you... Parts of me even still love you. But the thing that hurts me the most is the fact that you think... that I would do something to you, your family, your stupid car. You spent 4 years with me and you stayed, lived, slept, fucked, possibly loved a crazy, psychotic killer, idiot? I am not stupid. But you are... if you think that I would want to hurt you in any way.
Am I happy that you are miserable... sometimes it tickles my fancy I have to admit, but I certainly don't wish you any harm. I do wish you the same level of self doubt, and the fact that I no longer trust people, these gifts you have bestowed unto me. You did not have to handle the end of "US" as you did. You still don't have to be an asshole. But you choose to be. You choose your unhappiness and really I believe Karma is not through with you yet. The only thing that I am even mad at is the fact that I wasted my life with you. I wasted 4 years of being myself and finding someone who wouldn't do this bullshit to me. Who wouldn't make me feel that I had to submit to several acts of abuse just to make you happy. Your pleasure for my pain... I could have already been with someone who truly may have loved me.
You know nothing about me. You never wanted to. You were too busy with your doom and gloom and painting a picture of me to you family that you NEVER took the time. You say that I am a liar and that all I did was take from you. I find that funny. You said that I took all the things that you left in my apartment and that I TOOK the rings that we spent 3 days trying to find together, just so that I could hock them. I NEVER asked for any of that. You gave it to me. And who was the one who continues to tell me things like... "I will take care of it"... or even the day when you left to be with her... "I love you"
Why the hell would I give up something that you bought me that meant more than all the money in the world? Those rings that I wore on my hand meant more to me because they were a reminder of the fact that maybe there was a time or one moment that you truly loved me. I figured, why would you spend that much money on something unless you really wanted to do it? Why would you promise to marry me... if you KNEW! you did not love me. I believed in you, your family, what they said to me. That is what those rings mean to me. So NO, I won't and have not taken them to a pawn shop. I will eventually trade up and get something that means something for myself. So while you are slinging names around and talking shit about me to perfect strangers... why don't you look in the mirror....
Thats the difference between you and I. I am not all about the money. I am not materialistic... I didn't have to have anything to make me feel loved. I let you have what you wanted when you wanted...
Look at all the things that you have... Purely because you lead me on for 4 years making me believe that you were happy and in love with me... but yet here I am happier than I think I ever truly was with you.
You are more than welcome to continue to visit this site or any of my others. But All I ask of you is that you at least say something instead of lurking around like a coward, tryin to find something to make yourself smell more like roses than your rotting carcass of a heart already does.
I love you but I am over you. I will eventually forgive you but it will take a lot. But then again... you aren't worried about forgivness are you?
