I just got off the phone with my sister. I called her to talk about issues with my guest list and how I had to whittle it down because if my parents don't help then I cannot invite all that they want to be there... She was in the same room as them when I started talking to her about it. I thought she would move and talk to me about it some other place of the house... NOPE!
So I am in the middle of telling her that as I know that half of the family on my side won't show up because they are from all over the US, and saying... but what if they do show up and not RSVP? I was saying that I cannot turn them away after they invested that much into getting there... My dad was then in the background of the conversation yelling that they aren't going to show up. That they will probably send something in the mail, but basically made it sound like I wasn't important enough to come out and see the wedding! He was screaming in the background
I asked 5 things of my parents...
1. Meet Brian's mom and dad.
2. let us know if they wanted anymore people on the list
3. let us know if they would need a hotel room for the night before
(because they are in the wedding)
4. To just pretend to be happy for me
5. To help us financially with the wedding if they could.
(ok this could possibly mean helping with my wedding dress, helping with the cost of invitations, helping with the postage of said invitations...)
! JUST ANYTHING TO LET ME KNOW THEY FUCKING GIVE A DAMN!
!Just to let me know that they might possibly love me!
I got no response!
So my question is... Why should they be INVITED at all?
My mom and dad for the last 7 years have chose to have nothing to do with me... I chose not to give them a choice about holidays at other relatives houses. I didn't give the choice to exclude me from my sister. I kept coming over to pick her up. They have done nothing but be the biggest topic that my therapist and I talk about all the time. They have done nothing but out cast me and treat me like shit all this time.
Most Brides, their mother is in the Bridal room helping her get into her dress or helping with buttons.... Making sure that the flowers are just so. Making sure that nothing is getting in the way of her little girls day! That's something that is supposed to be sacred...
I don't see my mom in that room with me on October 22, 2006.
I see her sitting in a pew bitching because she isn't the first person to be seated or how the flowers don't look right. Same with my dad. Or how its taking too fucking long for pictures. I see them not taking any part in the wedding.
Most Brides, their mother is in the Bridal room helping her get into her dress or helping with buttons.... Making sure that the flowers are just so. Making sure that nothing is getting in the way of her little girls day! That's something that is supposed to be sacred...
I don't see my mom in that room with me on October 22, 2006.
I see her sitting in a pew bitching because she isn't the first person to be seated or how the flowers don't look right. Same with my dad. Or how its taking too fucking long for pictures. I see them not taking any part in the wedding.
Why should my mom and Brian’s mom be walking down the aisle to light candles? Why should my father get the chance to walk me down the aisle and give me away or dance the father daughter dance with me? Why should they get to act like a family should in front of all the relatives and have the chance to once again pretend to love me? My family and friends should know the truth about who they are…
If they choose to be the way they are why should they be invited? All I want is for them to be happy for me, to accept that I am not the idiot kid that they threw out of their house, and just give up all the bullshit!
Will I regret not inviting them… maybe. But then I wont have to deal with the psycho bullshit and the fact that they make me feel like shit… I wont have to deal with them possibly pissing off my new family or fucking messing up my wedding.
