Lord I must have done something right. This man is so in love with me and and I with him. If you would have asked me more than 3 years ago if I ever would be married or even in a long term relationship... I would have told you.. "Yeah, Right!" mainly because I didn't think that anyone would or could love me so completely as Brian loves me.



I guess alot of that thinking comes from that of what I had to hear all my life from my parents and others who did nothing but hurt me.

I think thats why I am having such a terrible time with coming to terms with asking my parents to be apart of my wedding. Their answer to that question will set the stage for what is to come in the future for my parents involvment in my life at all. They haven't been there for me at all in the past... why am I hoping and grasping at the idea that things will be any different?

I believe people can change... I did.

I am so scared of playing the fool again. I guess thats just my reality and it will be their loss... I guess.


That was a huge mood swing...


Whiskey