Today I prayed to God... for my selfish wishes to come true. Even if it did come true, what would I have done with it... I am unsure if I would want you back completely. So many things would have to have changed or in the process of changing.

All I know... Is that YOU asked ME not to GIVE UP on YOU. You are the one who asked me to give you some time before I moved on. The more you are with her though... the more you seem to forget me. The more she does wrong and against you... the more you seem to fall into her.

All I can do is do what you ask of me. But I don't want to be a mistress forever... since everything you have given her... once belonged to me

Or I can wake up and see what you really are doing to me. You said once that they told you to do whatever you needed to do to get me to pay for the things that you needed... Is that what you are really doing...? Just uaing me again as a stepping stone? Giving me what I want and telling me that you love me just to appease me till you are done using me?

I can't make you love me if you don't.

So my prayer for my miracle didn't happen... some how I knew it wouldn't. But I prayed selfishly anyway hoping my wish would have come true.

So I will wait for another month... then i donno...


Whiskey Leigh Embers